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[ VOICE ]
[The feed clicks on with a long moment of silence. Contemplative silence; or really, resisting silence. But the curse wins out.
They always do.]
I don't wanna talk about dying. Don't wanna think about it, either, but I do. Not all the time but more than I want. Knowing how you're gonna go doesn't make it easier; and I dunno when, just whenever this place is done. Nothing strange there, I guess, except I got used to not worrying about it. Life's a bitch and then you don't die, Ed said. He's the only one I ever knew who it bothered.
Knowing why helps a little, doesn't mean I'm not till fucking terrified. You'd think maybe it wouldn't be scary, knowing how, but it just means I know it's gonna hurt. Not a thing to change that. Doesn't help knowing it's a good cause.
[There's a long pause.]
The first time-- when I died, I mean-- it hurt like fuck but it wasn't so bad, or maybe it's just you forget after a while. Everything gets a little numb. Had ten years of that. But it was easier-- I mean, I knew I'd come out the other side anyway, wasn't the same as this. Everyone told you it'd hurt but not how bad-- didn't wanna scare me off, maybe. Getting bit wasn't the bad part, at least not for me. Not when I knew it was coming. Knew the girl, even. But after-- you lose enough blood and your body starts to panic even if you didn't mean it. And once you're infected that's it. That's what hurts.
Coming back was just as bad. Fuck, and I had it easy. I'm the only one who didn't fucking light myself on fire.
[Another pause.]
I'm gonna be torn to shreds when I go. There's your fucking story, City. That's all I got.
[Community Post]
[The feed clicks on with a long moment of silence. Contemplative silence; or really, resisting silence. But the curse wins out.
They always do.]
I don't wanna talk about dying. Don't wanna think about it, either, but I do. Not all the time but more than I want. Knowing how you're gonna go doesn't make it easier; and I dunno when, just whenever this place is done. Nothing strange there, I guess, except I got used to not worrying about it. Life's a bitch and then you don't die, Ed said. He's the only one I ever knew who it bothered.
Knowing why helps a little, doesn't mean I'm not till fucking terrified. You'd think maybe it wouldn't be scary, knowing how, but it just means I know it's gonna hurt. Not a thing to change that. Doesn't help knowing it's a good cause.
[There's a long pause.]
The first time-- when I died, I mean-- it hurt like fuck but it wasn't so bad, or maybe it's just you forget after a while. Everything gets a little numb. Had ten years of that. But it was easier-- I mean, I knew I'd come out the other side anyway, wasn't the same as this. Everyone told you it'd hurt but not how bad-- didn't wanna scare me off, maybe. Getting bit wasn't the bad part, at least not for me. Not when I knew it was coming. Knew the girl, even. But after-- you lose enough blood and your body starts to panic even if you didn't mean it. And once you're infected that's it. That's what hurts.
Coming back was just as bad. Fuck, and I had it easy. I'm the only one who didn't fucking light myself on fire.
[Another pause.]
I'm gonna be torn to shreds when I go. There's your fucking story, City. That's all I got.
[Community Post]
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