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[never_very_good]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

AMORY

FELIX

All right, yeah, so he's kind of funny looking. And a total ass, and not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But come on, anyone like that has to have some redeeming quality, though I can't even begin to guess what. For a low, low price, you could be the lucky sucker to figure it out! And if you'd think a black eye would help his looks, that can be arranged at no extra cost.

'Cause let's face it, not everyone's made of money, so I give you the best-- well, anyway, a budget option. Bidding starts at the low price of two yellows!

Comments

[adamantined]

I'm willing to contribute to the Black Eye Fund.

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

I have to say, he mixes good drinks. But I will pass this one, in favor of watching you two torment each other.

[sword-boy.livejournal.com]

I see your friend chose a wonderful picture of you...

[fatespoken]

Why, isn't that cute.

Did you stalk me for that photograph?

[eiremagic]

.....what the bloody...

[never_very_good]

Does that count as a bid? Cause I don't care what you do to him if you win him, just for the record.

[never_very_good]

You sure? 'Cause honestly, if you want, I could probably cut you a half-price deal. I bet no one wants him.

[never_very_good]

Amory's not my friend, he's an asshole.

[never_very_good]

Maybe you're surprised to learn it, but you look like that pretty much all the time.

[never_very_good]

It's his own fucking fault, okay.

[eiremagic]

He is not fucking selling you.

[never_very_good]

No. But he's advertising.

[eiremagic]

I'll break his fucking face.

With a machine gun.

[never_very_good]

Not til after I break it.

[eiremagic]

Fair enough. You can go first.

[never_very_good]

All yours when I'm done. Free of charge, too. Though if I get any takers it'll have to wait.

[eiremagic]

Are you kidding me? Do you think I'm going to let you go on some date?

[never_very_good]

I meant if he sells.

[Oddly flattered by your possessiveness, Eden.]

[eiremagic]

Oh.

Well. Okay.

[SHE HAS SOME MINOR JEALOUSY ISSUES. And by minor we mean major]

[never_very_good]

'Sides, he's a shitty salesman.

[Frankie's not used to being the object of anyone's jealousy. It's kind of interesting.]

[eiremagic]

Yeah, well, he's a moron.

[She hopes it doesn't get old quickly]

[never_very_good]

Truest thing anyone's ever said.

private ][

[eiremagic]

Don't let him know about...us, yeah?

He'll never let me hear the fucking end of it.

private ][

[never_very_good]

Sure, if you want. Isn't any of his business anyway.

private ][

[eiremagic]

I really appreciate it.